


Observations from the Oblivious

by neutralbrick



Category: Naruto
Genre: AU, Akatsuki - Freeform, Joke: Tobi's a dumbass gay, M/M, No Obito! Only Tobi!, Pre-Relationship, Rare Pairings, Woke: They're BOTH dumbass gays, i am LITERALLY the only person I know of making content for this that's how bad it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-24 14:51:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16642328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neutralbrick/pseuds/neutralbrick
Summary: Kakuzu had a history of getting rid of the annoying partners Pein and Konan assigned him. With the new recruit, Tobi, nobody thought he’d survive even a week given how eccentric he was. Yet 5 months later, here he was, pestering Kakuzu every step of the way. Nobody could explain why and no one bothered to find the reason. After all, if it works, it works. That was until Tobi found an opportunity to finally ask. Turns out, unbeknownst to Kakuzu, he still had the capacity to hold a little something more than neutral feelings to others. The issue occurs when Tobi starts to pressure him about it while on a mission and, boy, Kakuzu was not going to admit anything without a fight.





	Observations from the Oblivious

**Author's Note:**

> I finally made my KakuTobi fic I’ve been thinking about for a min because I know if I'm not going to deliver, no one is. It’s more so a “they’re not together YET, but they’re definitely getting there!” kind of fic. This includes 2 AU’s: Tobi and Kakuzu being partners and Tobi being his own character AKA my favorite phrase, "No Obito! Only Tobi!" As a result, there's gonna be a few things added, exaggerated, and mixed into Tobi's character to help make him his own person and not just a one-note character either.

Despite operating outside the law, the Akatsuki was still governed by some societal constructs. Namely money. While providing competitive rates for mercenary services did create a steady source of revenue, extra funding for supplies, repairs, and otherwise unforeseen expenses did pop up on occasion. To cover costs, Pein and Konan instructed each of the Akatsuki’s teams to collect bounties alongside their regular duties. There was various success among teams, the least between the explosive duo Deidara and Hidan. Regardless, the added workload and constant traveling took its toll on everyone. The most vocal about it, however, was easily the organization’s new recruit. 

“Finally~!” Tobi exclaimed as he burst into the cheap motel room Kakuzu rented, randomly discarding his pack on the floor. He’d managed to convince the other that since the bounty target wasn’t far, it’d be best to have a place to regroup before the capture. Tobi’s totally not incessant non-whining also helped with his persuasion efforts. 

“Ya woulda had us going nonstop if Tobi didn’t say anything! Ain’t ya glad I’m here so ya don’t accidentally run ya’self down, Kakuzu?” Tobi beamed as he threw himself onto one of the beds, bouncing slightly in his seat as the old springs creaked. 

Kakuzu had barely closed the door before sternly replying “I was not the one complaining about how tired I was the whole way here.” “Oh, come on~!” Tobi whined as he threw up his arms, “We’ve been going for like, 3 whole days! People need rest! Even people like you, Kakuzu!” 

Another headache was coming on. “If I didn’t already pay for the room, we would still be going since you’re suddenly so lively.” Kakuzu had only caved in to shut Tobi up, which was arguably the wrong choice as now he’d be stuck in a room with the hyperactive man for at least the night. Losing his temper and drawing mission-jeopardizing attention to themselves was looking increasingly likely now too. Despite this, the rest was necessary for both of them in the end. Not that Kakuzu would ever admit that. 

“Oi, Kakuzu was already going on about how your back was bothering ya before Tobi said- not complained! - that we needed to stop!” Tobi rebutted while pointing at Kakazu accusingly. Kakuzu could lose an arm and still insist they needed to ‘get moving!’ He was so stubborn! 

This gave Kakuzu pause as he set down his pack. Yes, given the limitations to even his ability to replace worn parts, he inevitably would start showing signs of his age with his back being the first to go, but... “When did I say anything about my back?” Kakuzu was not the kind of man who’d show discomfort, let alone verbalize it, over a trivial nuance. 

“Well, Kakuzu didn’t SAY anything, but ya always get very...” Tobi trailed off to find the right word. “...fidgetily when it starts bothering ya. Well, very for Kakuzu!” He clarified. “Ya end up shifting your weight between your feet a lot and cringe a tiny, little, like REALLY little bit when Kakuzu has to move certain ways.” Tobi said matter-of-factly with a quick nod, a stupid smile radiating off of him despite the mask covering his face. Kakuzu was growing annoyed. 

No. Not just annoyed but... Uncomfortable. Greatly uncomfortable. Tobi was an extremely unpolished, eccentric, and generally messy individual by shinobi standards and any other metric. Least of all was he observant. Quite the contrary actually given Tobi nearly fell over after knocking his hip into the edge of the motel’s reception desk. The fact that he’d be able to read anything so subtle off of Kakuzu, without him noticing Tobi’s observations, in the mere five months Pein had paired them together was a surprise. 

Kakuzu didn’t like surprises. His response was a glare that caused Tobi nervously tense and shrink, effectively ending the conversation. Besides, Kakuzu would probably end up riling himself up to the point of lashing out if his response was verbal, which was not ideal for various reasons. Like tiring himself out in vain trying to get his hands on a man who can phase through solid objects. Or having to deal with even more of Tobi’s whining when he’d inevitably stitch up the wounds Tobi managed to get despite his ability. Ignoring Tobi was the best bet for both of them. 

Tobi didn’t seem to understand that. 

“...Kakuzu?” Tobi said meekly, Kakuzu not facing him as he took off his cloak and mask since he intended to actually rest in the room he paid for despite his partner’s presence. “Kakuzu.” Don’t acknowledge him. Even he can take a hint- “KAKUZU~!” No. No, he can’t. Accepting defeat, Kakuzu finally muttered a flat “What?” still not turning to face Tobi. 

“Sorry.” Tobi had done a lot of apologizing since he and Kakuzu became partners. Reasons ranged from not paying attention to his surroundings, which was often, to apologizing when Kakuzu criticized how Tobi nearly got himself killed in battle, which was usually because he wasn’t paying attention. Despite having a plethora to choose from, Kakuzu found it to be one of his more grating traits. 

“We don’t have ti-” “NO!” Tobi quickly cut off Kakuzu’s attempt to dismiss him in the tone a child would use when you’d tried to take away a toy. “Let Tobi explain why! Ya never let Tobi explain and since we’re not going anywhere, Kakuzu can’t use the ‘we don’t have time for this’ excuse!” Even with his horrible imitation of Kakuzu, Tobi still spoke with strong conviction, crossing his arms with a huff. He was as stubborn as Kakuzu and arguably even more so when he wanted to be. This was one of those times. 

“...Fine.” Kakuzu scraped out as he finally turned to Tobi. If it could get him some goddamn silence, Tobi could apologize all he wanted. 

“Come on, ya- oh wait, really?” He said, dumbfounded. Tobi fully expected him to say no, so it took a moment realize Kakuzu actually given him the go ahead. “Don’t make me change my mind.” Kakuzu said as he settled down to sit on the opposite bed. “Wait- no- okay!” Tobi scrambled to find the right words to not squander his one and only opportunity to explain himself. 

“Tobi wanted to say sorry for... paying so much attention to ya? I think that’s what it is.” He said thoughtfully, he just didn’t know if it was the best phrasing, but it was the best he could manage. “Kakuzu’s just... so interesting to Tobi. Yeah, very interesting!” He confirmed enthusiastically. Kakuzu was actually one of the few things Tobi reliably paid attention to. Even when he wasn’t much of anything. Tobi never bothered to wonder why before putting himself on the spot like this, so ‘interesting’ was the best he could come up with on short notice. 

“...’Interesting’?” Kakuzu knew where this was going. “Mhm!” Tobi nodded. “Like, you’re mean, REALLY mean even, oh especially to Hidan, though Tobi kinda understands with him! But Kakuzu doesn’t even like Itachi! And Itachi doesn’t even do anything! And-” “Tobi-” Tobi was already on another one of his tangents. “- Everybody acts differently when you’re around. Like they’re quieter! Or they have something rude to say, ESPECIALLY Hidan, but Kakuzu knows that already-” “Tobi.” This was just a long-winded way to insult him at this point. Even Hidan had the decency to be straightforward “- And everyone warned Tobi about what Kakuzu did to your last few partners, so Tobi was SO worried about having a partner that doesn’t like him, hates him even! But-” **“Tobi.”** He was either oblivious or deliberately getting on Kakuzu’s last nerve and- 

“Ya don’t treat Tobi like anyone else and that really confuses him!” “...Excuse me?” Kakuzu’s building rage had dissipated all at once due to his sheer confusion. What did that mean exactly? 

“I think I’m asking why do ya like Tobi so much?” Tobi summarized as he finally focused his attention on the most bewildered Kakuzu he and the world had ever seen. “...I don’t like you. Why would I-?” Another annoying quality of Tobi was his tendency to interrupt people. “Yeah, you’re right, ‘like’ IS pretty strong for Kakuzu! Maybe tolerate? But that’s pretty much liking for ya anyway! Though we did just meet and ya already treat me this different so-” “So it means Pein stuck me with the delusional one.” Kakuzu’s headache from before was becoming an orange masked, man-sized migraine. 

“But ya do!” Tobi insisted, the pitch of his voice rising to emphasize his point. “It’s just very... tiny? Like the ways Kakuzu does it! I think that’s why Tobi watches ya so much, ‘cause he might miss it if he doesn’t!” 

Kakuzu had heard enough out of Tobi for a lifetime and began to stand up to leave. “I don’t have time-” “NO~!” Once again, Tobi’s ability to out whine Kakuzu had put him back in charge of the conversation and Kakuzu back in his seat. “Tobi is not having that excuse this time! He told ya that! It doesn’t change that ya still do it ALL the time!” Tobi was waving his arms around for effect. “Ya know what Kakuzu does? You’re always so close to Tobi! Like physically! And Tobi’s noticed ya don’t like people so much as standing too close to ya, but whenever we travel, Kakuzu stays at arm's length. Ya didn’t even complain when Tobi grabbed on to ya a couple times!” Tobi knew he knew what he was talking about and he wasn’t going to let Kakuzu tell him otherwise! He may be dumb, but he wasn’t stupid! 

“I do that because when I get any further away, you start complaining that I’m not listening to whatever... nonsense you think I want to hear.” Kakuzu wasn’t going to deny what he knew was true, but he was going to set the record straight that he only did it to maintain his sanity. However, his words would be used against him by a growingly irate Tobi. 

“That’s another thing! Ya still listen to Tobi regardless! Well not ALL the time, but ya give Tobi little ‘hm’s’ and ‘ha’s’ whenever he talks to Kakuzu!” “That’s because-” “Ya don’t even care to give that much attention to Leader most of the time! And that’s Leader!” “He’s never needed my-” “AND! Ya talk to Tobi! A Lot! Like right now!” Tobi was going to use every weapon at his disposal to prove his point if he had to! 

“Ya don’t so much as talk to anyone if ya don’t have to. For example, Kakuzu went a week - a whole week! - where ya didn’t speak to anyone! Ya just spent the whole time training, accounting, whatever Kakuzu does when you’re alone in your room, and ya didn’t even bother to answer to the door when anyone knocked even though we all knew ya were in there!” “...And?” “And~! Every time - not just some of the time - Tobi popped in to ask how Kakuzu was doing, Kakuzu would at least say ‘fine.’ Ya know what Kakuzu didn’t do when anyone else asked? Ya didn’t say anything! Ya just ignored them! Kakuzu does something like that, like, every day too, but still talks to me! When was the last time ya even had a conversation this long with anyone but Tobi?!” Tobi’s voice had been steadily rising to match his frustration as he went. “If ya don’t like me, then why do ya do it?!” 

“...” 

Kakuzu, holding his head in hand in complete disbelief... didn’t have an explanation. In fact, he hadn’t even realized he’d done half of what Tobi listed until the other pointed it out. The fact that Tobi, the most unsubtle, loudmouthed, and idiotic, shinobi – no, person – on the face of the planet could not only observe but identify behaviors in Kakuzu he himself did not notice in the mere five months he had been a part of this organization was... 

“... We’re going to get a noise complaint if you keep your voice up.” Impossible. 

“You-! You’re just soan so...! UGH!” Tobi flopped backwards onto the bed, his hands covering his face as his frustration hit its limit. Why was Kakuzu being so... difficult?! Why wouldn’t he know how he acts?! It’s Kakuzu! Mature, smart, sophisticated Kakuzu! 

Kakuzu’s attention hadn’t left Tobi despite his childish outburst. After a few moments of deafening silence, Tobi’s hands slowly fell from his face. After a moment he spoke, looking at the ceiling above him. Except... Tobi’s voice was unnervingly calm, devoid of the intense frustration he had express just moments before. 

“... Are ya messing with me? Or are ya just stupid in the one way I’m not?” 

“Who are you calling stupid?” Kakuzu said, taken back by both Tobi’s question and demeanor as well as still being on the defensive from before. Tobi sat back up, this time pulling his legs up onto the bed and crossing them. He still didn’t look back up at Kakuzu. “Not stupid-stupid, but this kind of stupid.” What an enlightening explanation. “It’s just... you’re really smart. Ya know how to plan, how to talk with people. Well... when ya want to. Ya manage even with the really scary and mean ones without messing up. Ya know how to do things when they’re just... thrown at ya. Ya don’t panic for a second, Kakuzu.” Kakuzu didn’t know how Tobi went from calling him ‘stupid’ to this but decided to see how Tobi would explain himself. 

“Ya just know... everything. At least, a lot of stuff I don’t know. But somehow... ya say ya don’t know how ya act around me. Or even have an idea what I’m talking about. And I don’t know if ya actually don’t know or worse, ya know exactly what you’re doing and you’ve decided to be really mean to me because I’m new and I don’t know ya.” Tobi still wasn’t looking at Kakuzu even if he could feel the other’s eyes staring at him. “Like... are ya smart and stupid? Or are ya smart and cruel? Or...” Tobi slowly looked up at Kakuzu, meeting his gaze. 

“... maybe ya just don’t want to know.” Tobi wasn’t asking this time. 

Despite not being able to see Tobi’s eye, Kakuzu could feel it scanning him, watching. Consuming. It takes a very specific kind of person to make Kakuzu feel exposed and right now, Tobi was that person. Tobi, the most transparent and expressive man from day one, was completely blank. Yet, he was taking in every single cue Kakazu so much as thought he was giving off. Worse, Tobi picked up on the one he couldn’t think of. This one-sided exchange made Kakuzu more than just exposed; it made him vulnerable. Kakuzu, the man who single-handedly killed the elders of Takigakure, who fought The First Hokage and lived, was vulnerable. 

“... I’m going to get ready for bed.” Tobi said suddenly after what might as well have been eons, getting up and grabbing his pack in a similar fashion. He had already made his way to the bathroom and closed the door behind him before Kakuzu fully registered what he said. He didn’t move for a few minutes, wanting – needing to reflect on the exchange he and Tobi just had. He then silently moved to lay down, his back towards the bathroom. He didn’t need rest before, he really needed some now. 

A few minutes later, Tobi came out of the bathroom adorning sleepwear that seemed to cover up even more than his usual attire due to its bulk. As he laid down, both maintained the silence. It was actually so long that Kakuzu actually believed Tobi had dozed off until he spoke, shaking Kakuzu out of his thoughts. 

“... Hey, Kakuzu?” 

“Hm?” 

“Sorry... again.” 

“...” Based on recent experience, it was better to just let Tobi talk. Without his input. 

“Tobi shouldn’t have talked so much. Or at least, he shouldn’t have talked so much about Kakuzu.” His voice was warm... Tobi seemed to be getting back to being himself already. He’d even picked up his speaking quirk again. He was faring much better than Kakuzu at the moment. 

“Tobi thinks he always ends up talking too much and ends up saying stuff he didn’t need to, whether he ends up being right or wrong. And Tobi doesn’t think ya like people being right about ya sometimes, Kakuzu.” The other had no response. 

“Ya know, Tobi was going on and on about how Kakuzu might like Tobi, but he never talked about if he liked Kakuzu. It’s only fair if he did, right?” Kakuzu could hear Tobi shift to look at him. He could feel the eye on the back of his head, completely different from the one he had looked into. It wasn’t suffocating, it was... very careful this time. 

“’Cause Tobi does like Kakuzu. A lot actually. It’s why he doesn’t mind Kakuzu liking him. The reason Tobi got so upset was that he wants Kakuzu to like him even more actually. Tobi thinks that’s why he began to pay so much attention to ya in the first place. The weird thing about it though, he’s just not sure if finds ya interesting because he likes ya, or if Tobi likes ya because you're interesting... Hey Kakuzu?” 

“...” 

“Do ya know which it is?” That eye was caressing him at this point. 

“... Tobi.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Go to bed.” 

“Why?” 

“Because it’s late. You keep me up, and I’ll have collected your bounty by dawn.” 

“Aw~, fine... goodnight Kakuzu.” 

And with that, Kakuzu finally felt the eye leave him, Tobi rolling over and going out like a light. For real this time. Kakuzu looked over his shoulder back at Tobi for a moment before laying back down, finally able to settle down for the night. The new recruit was not as delusional as Kakuzu made him out to be. 

He was just a gigantic pain in the ass.

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to you for reading my first fic ever


End file.
